Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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