the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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