Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Pappa wants mamma naked
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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