The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
