you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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