you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
