Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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