i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
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Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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