I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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