i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
