I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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