Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Our lives are a motherfucking joke