I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
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Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need water and some morals
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