so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
