STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
