bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
