Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
