i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
