Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pants are for mortals
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
