Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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