I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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