Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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