U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
