I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
