I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize