a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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