you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
