I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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