Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
