I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You are the jesus of drinking
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
