I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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