i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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