You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
