Operation Purity has been aborted
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
