does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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