I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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