she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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