so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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