I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
