I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
