he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
