hell yes lets make some ravioli
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
