YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
