Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
