i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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