The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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