he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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