Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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