Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
