My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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