I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize