I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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