There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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