my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.