So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize