So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm having to shit out rocks
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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