How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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