Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize