i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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